If my inner self, my emotional life was a garden it would be riotous with colour. Chrysanthemums and peonies, scarlet poppies and tall henna flowers; fairy lights (or actual fairies!) between tree branches; the air would hum and shimmer with dragonflies and bees and nightfall in this garden would bring glittering, whispering things. Crickets and ( Read more... )

This is exactly the sort of thing that occupies Z's fantasy life. (Not disaster so much, as being prepared to face disaster). This leads to him taking a knife with us on every journey (although not in his hand luggage, thank god) which lets him feel prepared and leads me to feel certain we will be arrested one of these days ( Read more... )

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Z and I talking about Apocalypse in the car, on our way home after watching 2012Z: If I think about the possibility of the world ending, it just... makes me more sad than I can tell you if I only start to think about the horrifying choices and lack of choices our children would face. How unfair it would be that they never got to flourish and live ( Read more... )

.... for the living outloud projectThroughout my adolescence, whenever I thought of my life I divided it into Before and After Dad, and then in later years Before and After War just for variety. I felt divided and unhealable, in the wake of all those deaths and bombs. And I spent most of those years in grim survivor mode, battening down hatches ( Read more... )

Your spouse cheerfully makes a thoughtless comment that you find hurtful/offensive and then feels surprised at your emotional response ( Read more... )

When I trace the anatomy, the history of my relationship ( Read more... )

At 4 years, the relationship with Z is the longest one I have had ( Read more... )

I was told repeatedly in the lead up to my wedding that marriage is the best way to study in detail everything which annoys you about your spouse ( Read more... )

When Z and I first began seeing each other, he would ring me up saying he just wanted to hear my voice. A little further into the relationship I would ring him to tell him that I loved him ( Read more... )